It has been such a hectic week, with all these piling up and slapping across my face.
Trust me, it is such a damn, to the extent that I feel that I can’t breathe well lately. Sometimes I will find myself unable to breathe all of sudden. Feel damn like wandering around the dark streets at night, no mood to sleep, lost in a daze and so on.
If not for my colleagues and seika, I think that I will lost myself in this world. Deeply appreciate their willingness to understand and really listen to me.
Trust me, at this moment, I don’t need any sweet talks, encouragement of words or whatever. It only appear as brush me aside or “come on I more worse than you.” Talking about understand or knowing me, sorry I have to say that “Are you ME?”
My colleague say that I have to be more big hearted and accept everything. I do so in the past, and what happen? it happen again and again to the extent that I can’t trust or believe so easily. It freak me out that I tell directly to my colleague that I give 2 chances and more than that, everything will change. I treasure the friendship with my colleague, for we are of same age and we can talk about everything. When I hear of her admission to NTU, I am filled with happiness and sadness.. It is such a mixed emotion. I certainly miss her laughters and conversations.
~
I have already tried my best, to the extent that I wonder if my heart will take it anymore.
Now I am on the journey to new road soon. I hope that I will persist and work harder, also… with wholefully myself.
alright everyone, I will work harder in building my mask.
